you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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