i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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