I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
