alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize