Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
