I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize