Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
