I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
