turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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