Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
