I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
