This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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