i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
