i don't like sucking hair
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize