so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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