Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
