I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
