You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
