i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
