His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
