i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't trust your balls anymore.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
