When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
