Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
