Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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