she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
