its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
