Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
