Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
