Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
