Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think my moral compass just broke
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