I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
nutella sex= disaster
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
