we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
