This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
