This is not my ceiling
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
