Kiss
Puke
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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