Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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