paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
