Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
