Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
