I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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