He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
