How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
