So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
