dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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