have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
