her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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