I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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