How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize