Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize