I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
