Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
