Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I could fuck to npr.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
