problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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