I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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