Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
