I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
