Sponge bath it is.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
