You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
